I have been hungry for chocolate chip cookies or dough of the same for at least one week. I've tried everything I could think of to distract myself from this. As I think I have mentioned, one more sugar spree could be my last, ever. I have not had any sugar treats since my post about the "sneak" treats. I have cheated by eating too many carbs a few times and cheated by eating too much protein very many times. But there was no sugar involved.
When my husband was gone just now, I went to the store to get some cookies or something. One famous brand had their normal chocolate chip cookies in a regular-sized package for one dollar less than my favorite style of their cookies (chunky) in a family-sized package. I knew my husband wouldn't help me eat the cookies and I wasn't sure if I would die eating a whole family pack of cookies. So I thought I would get the cookie mix that only has to have water, but this store didn't have it. The whole time I was in the store, I had the family pack of chunky cookies in my cart.
I thought maybe I would just buy some candy. But that wouldn't satisfy the cookie dough craving. I thought how a sugar binge affected me last time: very sick head, blurry eyesight, arthritis pain came back with a vengeance, sleeplessness, diabetic neuropathy pain in fingers returned and got worse, the inflammation in my knees returned and got worse, and I had to start all over again on getting my body to the keto fat-burning stage. This had taken several days.
I thought how there are incredibly fat people who do not care how fat they are and eat a ton of carbs, laughing about it the whole time--like it's funny to be a walking time bomb. I thought how everyone at work seems to think I'm crazy for eating butter and other fat. However, the carb eaters are getting fatter and I have lost a little. I thought how commercials on television, in magazines, wherever, pointedly tell us how we need sugar and flour treats all the time. This is not true, but it is convincing. I thought how I want to be something different and how that would require my making some different decisions and taking some different actions.
Ultimately, I walked out of the store without the cookies (or anything else). Before I got to the store, I had wished that I could have the freedom to buy exactly what I want, like most people I know. But I realized in the store that I do have that freedom. I can choose whatever I want. I can choose sugar or other super carbs with pain, worsening diabetes symptoms, and poor nutrition. Or I can choose no sugar or refined wheat flour, less pain, lessened and fading diabetes symptoms and excellent nutrition.
But there is something even deeper here: when I have two choices and I choose one, this means that I do not choose the other. If I choose to eat a keto diet, I'm automatically not choosing a majority of carbs lifestyle. When the people at work choose French fries and other huge carb items, they are automatically choosing poorer health. They are choosing to remain overweight one more day and to forever lose a day that they could have felt better. In every yes choice, there lies a no choice; a yea or nay, a for or against.
I chose for being healthier and against being unhealthier, and I'm so glad that I did!